|
July 4, 2008 I'm really bitter about Independence Day. Every year, I grow to like it less and less. Being so close to a state where you could probably buy uranium at Wal-Mart, EVERYBODY around here has illegal fireworks that get catapaulted at neighboring homes and explode in a shower of fire cascading down on rooftops and dry pine trees. Okay, so no fires that I know of...yet...but our neighbors across the street invited dozens of friends to bring over their screaming kids, park up and down a narrow street, crank up the music, chug some booze, and shoot off some heavy-duty explosives. Don't forget to honk good-bye when you leave at 11:30 PM! Apparently, they didn't remember last year when I chewed them out for a bottle rocket that landed in our front yard while we were working on the flower bed at dusk. I returned the bottle rocket, told them about the fire that burned down the previous owner's house, that our house is brand new, and I'd rather it didn't burn down again. But then, who can remember anything when they're drunk? And if they don't have any respect for state laws, why should they care about annoying their neighbors? I don't think the police care either. I never saw them come by after I called them. Yeah, I anonymously called the cops on my neighbors. It wasn't the first time. So, anyway, all of that was on July 3rd. Probably because they wanted to get it out of they way early and sleep in on the first day of their 3-day weekend. They obviously don't care that not everybody has that luxury. My wife and I both had to work Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday. I don't honk good-bye to her every morning at 5:15 AM. I wonder how the neighbors would like it if I did...on Saturday. Nah. I have at least a little respect for my other neighbors. All this week I've been on my annual crusade to get people to say "Independence Day" rather than "the 4th of July". Independence Day gets no respect. I am so sick of hearing and reading the phrases "the 4th of July", "Fourth of July" (yeah, with a capital F), and, the really dumb one, "the 4th of July Holiday". That holiday has a NAME and it means something. Find me a calendar that notes the holiday as "4th of July". I dare you. Do you wish your friends and family a "Merry December 25th" or "Happy Fourth Thursday of November"? I know that most people see Independence Day as just a day off work and a chance to get drunk and play with explosives, but we should recognize our freedom to do that stupid and careless stuff (within legal limits) and celebrate our American heritage. Be thankful that, unlike some countries half a world away, your president can't get away with torturing or killing you for voting for the other guy. There's nothing that we have to dance around to make it politically correct by calling it "the 4th of July" rather than "Independence Day". Who would you be offending, British folks living in the USA? It is politically correct to call it by its proper name. It, more or less, is a political holiday. On Friday, July 4, 2008, I even counted how many times I heard or read those different phrases on TV between 6 AM and 9 AM. If the usage specifically intended to refer to the date and not the holiday, it was a valid use of "the fourth" or "July 4th" and didn't count. My final stats hit an even 100 (that I caught). 4th of July: 89 Independence Day: 11 Based on that data, which I admit is not a really a proper sample, one in ten people casually say "Independence Day" while nine in ten people say "the 4th of July". That's intolerable! |